A Ranma Nibunnoichi FanFic by Captain Exposition

Akane, dressed in a light sundress and baseball cap stepped out of the taxi into the bright summer sun to look in awe at the hotel before her. She had never stayed anywhere so nice! It was a practically a skyscraper, all white walls, tinted windows and empty balconies. Rei, in shorts, tee shirt and a light windbreaker, came up beside her, having paid the driver. Eyes unreadable behind mirrored glasses, she peered up at the tall building before her. "Pretty impressive, isn’t it?" Akane nodded somberly. Glancing at her traveling companion and friend, she asked, "Can we afford this?"

Rei’s lips turned up in a small wry smile. "When you live the wandering life I lead, your living expenses are fairly low. I’ve saved up so much money from working as a chef wherever I stop, we can stay here as long as we want." Akane nodded slowly. Rei peered curiously at the shorthaired girl. "What’s up with you?" She asked.

Akane shrugged, paused, then sighed quietly. "I don’t know…" She said quietly. "I…I feel…worried." Rei pursed her lips thoughtfully. After a moment spent silently studying the girl she felt she loved, she said, "Let’s get our room, and then we can talk, okay?" Akane nodded.

Inside the spacious lobby, Akane trailed after her companion as they walked to the counter, where an urbane middle-aged man greeted them politely. Rei removed her sunglasses and replaced them with her normal glasses, smiling perfunctorily as she said, "Reservation for Tendo." The clerk eyed their rumpled clothes with a raised eyebrow, but shrugged and typed a few commands on his computer. His other eyebrow rose to join it’s mate when he saw that there was in fact a reservation for two under the name Tendo, in the Honeymoon suite, no less. For a moment, he wondered if there had been some mistake, but then he looked again at the two girls before him and coughed slightly, flushing a slight pink. Now slightly nervous in manner, he quickly handed Rei a plastic key-card with directions to the room. The two girls bowed quickly and headed for the elevators, the clerk looking after them.

Akane whispered to Rei as they walked away, "That man certainly acted funny. I wonder why?" Rei coughed slightly, adjusting her glasses, and said, "It must be unusual for two girls our age to be taking rooms in such a hotel with nobody accompanying them." Akane nodded thoughtfully and said to herself, "I suppose that must be it…"

As they approached the door, Rei slid the key-card into the metal slot, opening the door. She motioned Akane through the door, who flipped on the light as she entered. Despite her awe at the luxury of the hotel so far, the huge silent halls and seemingly endless stretches of carpeting, she was stopped short by the room presented to her. The main room was wide and circular, with bright red carpeting. One entire side of the room was a huge window, which looked out on an awesome view of the cityscape. But the odder aspects were the metal bucket with two unopened bottles sticking out of it, as well as the large heart-shaped bed covered with pink sheets.

Wrinkling her brow, Akane turned to Rei, who was setting her and Akane’s bags by the door, and asked, "What’s with this room? It looks like there should be newlyweds in here or something…"

Rei straightened, glanced around as if surprised, then turned bright red. Putting one hand behind her head in a decidedly Ryouga-ish fashion, she chuckled nervously and said, "Oops…they must have given us the honeymoon suite by mistake…Hehehehehe…"

Akane sighed and shook her head. Walking over to the bed, she sat gingerly on the edge, noting that it was a waterbed, and patted a spot beside her. Rei, noticing her somber mood, stopped laughing and walked quickly over to sit beside Akane. Taking a deep breath, Akane faced Rei squarely and said, "That’s one of the things I wanted to talk to you about." Rei swallowed nervously as her stomach churned queasily in anticipation of what was to come. She slowly removed her glasses and set them beside her.

After another pregnant pause, Akane looked at her feet and began to speak. "I…I’ve been doing a lot of thinking over the past few days." She sighed again and went on. "You’ve helped me a lot. You taught me to fight better than I ever have, and you tried your best to make me a better cook, even though I know I’m still terrible." Rei began to open her mouth to assure Akane that this was not true, but Akane pre-empted her by holding up her hand. She went on, "I…I feel very grateful to you. And I’ve come to like you a lot. And that’s the problem…"

She looked up into Rei’s eyes, her own filled with a mix of worry and confusion. "I’ve never felt this way before. I mean, I know I love Ranma. I know it. I…I feel things for him that I don’t feel for anyone else. He makes my heart pound when he looks at me in a certain way. I’ve never really understood it, but I know how I feel." Rei’s eyes took on a stricken quality. This is it…She thought. This is goodbye. Ranma’s ruined my life again…

Akane went on, twisting her hands together in agitation as she did. "But…I feel things for you too, Rei." Rei looked up at Akane in amazement. "At first, I was nervous around you, and…and a little scared. Because of how you treated me on that first night, like an object. I was afraid that if I got close to you, you might misunderstand and try and…do something to me again." Rei sagged as a feeling like being punched in the stomach by a professional boxer overcame her. She’s scared of me. She thought miserably, as she put her head in her hands. But Akane was not finished yet. "But, since then, I think I’ve come to understand you a little better. I understand that what you did when you kidnapped me was just another way of lashing out at Ranma. And…I think…I think I’m…I don’t know how, when we’ve only known each other for a few weeks, but…I think I like you. A lot."

The world froze solid for Rei. All sound, motion, everything ceased for one breathless moment. Rei slowly sat up and looked at Akane, whose expression was a mix of raw emotions. "What?" The ninja girl said quietly. Akane sighed as tears welled up in her eyes. In a halting voice she continued, "When you smile at me, I feel…something inside of me. It’s so strange, y’know? I feel certain ways around Ranma that I don’t around you, and I feel things for you I don’t feel for Ranma. But…every time I tell myself I’m just your friend, I feel so…it hurts." She clenched her hands all the tighter as a few tears landed on the backs of her hands. The sensation of the warm salty water sliding off of her hands was all she needed to begin silently crying streams of hot tears.

In one smooth motion, Rei moved closer and bundled Akane into a motherly, protective hug. Responding to the intrinsic comfort of the embrace, Akane wrapped her arms fiercely around Rei and began sobbing into her shoulder. Rei closed her eyes, mostly from the pain of the ribs that were being bruised by Akane’s embrace, and held the shorter girl close as she cried. So they sat, on the edge of the bed in the Honeymoon suite of an expensive hotel, for some time.

Much later, once Akane had thoroughly soaked the shoulder of Rei’s windbreaker, she moved back from the death grip she had maintained around her friend’s middle. She sniffled and wiped her eyes firmly. While Rei breathed in deeply, testing the damage Akane had done to her ribs, Akane rubbed gently at her red, puffy eyes. After a few moments of silence, Akane whispered, "Sorry…" Rei shook her head violently, saying, "Don’t apologize. I’m sorry for having caused you so much pain. I wish I’d known." Akane gave her a serious look and responded, "You can make it up to me by telling me how you feel about me. I have to know how you feel."

Rei stared at her for a long moment before exhaling heavily. With a wry smile she asked, "Did you do this with Ranma too?" Akane smiled slightly and replied, "No…but I think I have to fix that as soon as we get back. Now, quit stalling." One corner of Rei’s mouth twitched up as she said, "You caught me. Well…" All traces of levity left her face as she said, "I will give you that bit about hurting Ranma through you at the beginning. And in the spirit of honesty, I will tell you that more than once I’ve thought about how much it would wreck Ranma if I stole you from him." Akane’s back stiffened as she prepared to retort, but the ninja cook cut her off. "But that was never why I wanted you to come with me."

Akane raised an eyebrow at that last statement. Rei flushed and added irritably, "All right, all right! I admit, my initial plan was to turn you into a weapon, and then watch you beat Ranma into the floor. But that changed, almost right from the start. After a little while, I started to enjoy teaching you. I felt proud of you." Akane’s eyebrow remained in its raised position. Rei looked at her silently, then exhaled loudly. Shooting an accusing look at Akane, she said, "You aren’t making this any easier, you know." Akane smiled slightly and murmured, "I’m sorry it’s such a chore to be honest with me."

Ignoring that remark, Rei opened her mouth to speak, but then hesitated. Akane watched her as her heart tried to pound it’s way out of her chest. Finally Rei said, "I…it felt good to be close to you. As soon as we started to talk, really talk, I felt something inside me. It just got stronger as the days went by. I feel…it’s like I’m hot and cold at the same time, I feel nauseous, dizzy, I feel like giggling like an idiot. My knees get weak, I…I don’t know. I don’t know what it means, but I know this." She looked at Akane gravely. "I know I get terrified every time I think of you going away and not getting to see you anymore. I want to be with you Akane. I know I want that more than anything else, more than seeing Ranma beaten, more than getting my real name back, more than anything."

Akane’s chest tightened up. "I…" She whispered, "I think I’m going to cry some more." Rei solemnly put her arms around Akane as she began to sniffle slightly. After a few minutes where the only sound was the almost synchronized breathing of the two girls, Akane said in a voice choked with tears, "I don’t know what’s going on…I’m not a lesbian, Rei!" The ninja cook blinked. "What?" Akane sniffed and said, "I can’t love you. I’m not a lesbian." Rei disengaged Akane to look her in the face. "So you’re a lesbian if you love me, huh?" Akane looked at her puzzledly. "Well, you’re a girl and, and so am I…" Rei gave Akane an arch look and asked, "Am I a lesbian because I love you?" Akane was visibly confused now. "W-well, you’re in love with a woman, and you’re a woman, so…"

With a soft smile, Rei said, "You’re wrong. I’m not in love with a woman." Akane’s eyes widened in hurt surprise. Rei went on, placing a finger lightly on Akane’s chest. "I’m in love with you, Akane. Not just a woman. You, the individual. All of you." All the air in the room seemed to vanish for Akane. She could feel her whole body tingle with something she couldn’t understand. Rei took Akane’s hand and placed it over her heart as she said, "Be in love with me, Akane. We aren’t anything but who we are. Because we’re both girls, that doesn’t make us gay, or bisexual, or anything. We love who we love, and that’s all."

Akane looked down at the floor silently. After a minute had passed, Rei leaned down to look up at Akane’s down-turned face. "Akane?" She said curiously. Akane looked up, her face radiant. "Thank you Rei." She said. "Nobody has ever said anything like that to me before. So, thank you." Rei made no reply but to take Akane’s hand in her own. She smiled encouragingly. Hesitantly at first, but swiftly gaining confidence, Akane smiled back, giving Rei’s hand a squeeze. They sat like this for a moment, just enjoying the newly comfortable silence between them. Finally, Akane exhaled loudly and said in a brisk tone, "So, now what do we do?" Rei smiled. "Now," She answered in a dramatic tone, "We go shopping."

**********Interlude**********

Lost deep in thought, Ryouga Hibiki walked along with his head down, looking at nothing but his shoes and the ground they passed over. Like so many times before, he was miserably, idiotically lost. He had lost his map somewhere in Mongolia, but if his calculations were correct, he was now somewhere in India…or maybe it was Newfoundland. In any case, he was on his way back to Nerima after a vacation to Mainland China, which he had unwittingly embarked on while trying to find the public restroom in a restaurant. Even so, while he had not been planned for, it had given him a good chance to buy some souvenirs for Akane.

Ryouga looked up at the sun, oblivious to his surroundings, and the shouts of people around him. Oh Akane…He thought, How are you? I haven’t seen you in months…All through my trip, the thought of seeing you again sustained me, long after my food and water ran out, long after I had to resort to subsisting off of my spare bandanas, long after… A loud honking cut off any further thoughts. Blinking, Ryouga looked forwards, right into the front grill of a truck moving towards him at considerable speed. In an act of pure reflex he caught the front bumper between his hands. With a small grunt, he lifted the truck clear off of the ground and gently set it on the sidewalk, much to the amazement of the crowd of onlookers. He bowed and mumbled "Gomen…" The truck driver just stared and worked his jaw silently. The Eternal Lost Boy blinked and looked around.

It was with no small surprise that Ryouga discovered himself standing in the middle of the street near the Ginza in Tokyo. This puzzled Ryouga to no end. He scratched his head and muttered, "I could’ve sworn I was heading west…" He spent little time mulling over this, for he swiftly brightened at the realization that he was that much closer to Akane. With a smile of joy, he ran off down the middle of the road pushing aside cars and trucks, calling hurried apologies as he went.

Perhaps half an hour later, Ryouga paused to look around. He had exited the most urban area of Tokyo for the hotel-filled area just outside. As it happened, he had paused in front of a large and luxurious hotel. Looking up, Ryouga saw that it was approaching darkness. In a moment of self-realization he noted the fact that, since he had been camping out for two months, he smelled a bit ripe. Ryouga pulled out the roll of yen he had carelessly stuffed into his backpack. While in China he had been hurting for money a bit, so he went out and caught a few rampaging giant boars. After converting the bounties into yen, he found he had quite the stack of money, even after buying souvenirs for Akane. He smiled and shrugged. Well, why not? He thought, I’ve slept under the stars plenty. One night in a real bed won’t soften me. Besides, I could use a bath.

This decided, Ryouga walked into the lobby, being sure to keep his eyes fixed on the front desk at all times. After twenty minutes, he made it to the counter. The middle-aged clerk looked up, staring unabashedly at The Lost Boy’s travel-stained form. He asked, "Can I help you?"

Ryouga nodded and fished out his bundle of yen. Unceremoniously dumping it on the counter, he said, "I need a room for tonight. Will this be enough?" The clerk cleared his throat nervously, then quickly scooped up the heap of cash. "This will do nicely. Allow me to find you a suitable room." After a minute of typing, he said, "Ah yes. Suite 812. Here is your key. Top floor, twelfth room on the right, across from the honeymoon suite." Handing the key-card to the dirty boy, the clerk sniffed slightly at the smell then began pointedly ignoring Ryouga in favor of a newspaper. Strange kids in this area these days…The clerk thought to himself. After several minutes of reading, the clerk sniffed the air and looked up. To his surprise, Ryouga was still standing there, now very red in the face. The clerk looked at him questioningly. Ryouga flushed and twiddled his fingers in embarrassment. "Could you have someone take me up to the room?" He asked quickly. The clerk sighed.

**********End Interlude**********

Having washed her face and freshened up, Akane stepped out of the hall, now dressed in jeans and a tee shirt, as night was approaching. Rei followed close behind, dressed similarly. Glancing worriedly at the darkening sky, Akane asked, "Are you sure the stores will be open very much longer?" Rei smiled reassuringly, walking down the hall towards the elevators with Akane in tow. "Don’t worry Akane. In the summer, the popular stores don’t close until late. Besides, even if they do, we have a week to shop, so who cares?" As Akane nodded in agreement, she caught a glimpse of a yellow tunic and a large backpack disappearing down an adjoining hall. Twisting around, she stared down the hallway where she had seen the brief flash of movement. "Ryoga?" She whispered unbelievingly.

Rei turned to see where Akane had gone. "What’s up?" Akane blinked, then chuckled. "I must be getting homesick," She answered, "I’m starting to think I’m seeing people I know." Rei shrugged and responded, "Who knows? Maybe it is someone you know." Akane shook her head as she resumed walking. "No, the person I thought I saw would never be in a hotel like this. Heck, I’d never be in a hotel like this, except for you!" Rei chuckled and said teasingly, "See? I’m introducing you to all sorts of new things." Akane playfully pushed Rei and shot back, "Not all that many!" The two girls laughed far easier than they had in days and linked arms. But nevertheless, Akane’s eyes were thoughtful as they went into the elevator and down into the street.

*****

"Right. I’m ready." Ranma cinched the coil of rope tied around his waist nervously as he looked over the intrusion gear he and Ukyou had packed. Sitting in a pile before him were a bundle of matte black pitons, a grappling hook, a hacksaw, and a pair of wire cutters. While Ukyou had wanted to get some dynamite as well, Ranma had refused her, more on the grounds that she would inevitably try and use it on Kodachi than that they would not need it. Ukyou, dressed in a black sweater and sweats, hefted her share of the intrusion gear and nodded grimly. "Then let’s go." Ranma nodded, but as he bent down to lift his half of the tools, a voice came from the doorway.

"Let me come with you." Ranma straightened and stared at Nabiki, who stood in the doorway dressed in a black windbreaker and jeans. Meeting his stare challengingly she repeated, "Let me come too. I can help." Ukyou sighed and made to push past Nabiki, saying, "Come on Ranma honey, she’d just be in the way." But Nabiki held up a hand in front of Ukyou, still talking only to Ranma. "I can get you in without your having to break in. I want to help." Nabiki’s eyes hardened as she clenched her fist. "I can’t take this any more. Kasumi has to be cured. She bullies me all the time, and makes me do all the worst chores, just to annoy me. And…she keeps…saying things to me, when nobody else is around, terrible things. It’s making me crazy!"

Ranma gawked. "You too Nabiki?" He asked incredulously. Nabiki closed her eyes as if in pain and nodded shortly. Ukyou turned to Ranma and raised a questioning eyebrow. After a moment of deliberation, he nodded reluctantly. To Nabiki, he said, "Okay, you can come. But on one condition. If things start getting ugly, I want you to swear you’ll get out of there to somewhere safe. Kodachi can get nasty when she’s mad." Nabiki hesitated almost imperceptibly, then nodded. She tossed a glance at Ukyou and asked, "What about her?" Ranma looked at Ukyou grimly, who returned the look defiantly. "If I had my way," He said, "She’d stay here where Kodachi couldn’t get her. But Ukyou has the Art to defend herself, so I trust her not to get hurt. She can take care of herself."

Ukyou flushed slightly at the grudging respect in Ranma’s voice. She thought, It kills you to not have to protect me, doesn’t it? You need to be the man so much…You’re right Ranma, I can take care of myself…but maybe I’ll let you protect me now and then…to make you feel better. A small smile crossed her lips as she followed Ranma’s example and set down her share of the tools. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to have him protect me.

Five minutes later, Nabiki, Ranma and Ukyou stood outside the main gate to the Kuno house. Leaning back into the shadows, Nabiki whispered, "Here’s the plan. I go up to the main door, make a lot of noise, and get someone to open it. While I’ve got them distracted, you sneak in and go get the cure. After you’re in, you two are on your own to get back out. I can vouch for Kuno, but his sister is up to you, got it?" Ranma and Ukyou nodded grimly. "I’d still like to know what this diversion of yours is." Ranma said. Nabiki patted his cheek and smiled in what she thought was a comforting manner. "Don’t worry Ranma, you just get that miracle cure."

As Nabiki walked nonchalantly towards the front door, Ranma and Ukyou drifted from tree shadow to tree shadow like the shadows of the wind. With a surreptitious glance to make sure Ranma and Ukyou were in place, Nabiki banged down the brass door knocker three times, the resulting noise sounding like a thunder clap in the still summer night. After a moment, the door opened to reveal a sleepy-looking Sasuke. The tiny ninja rubbed at his eyes and yawned. "Miss Tendo…isn’t it rather late?"

Nabiki held up an envelope and said, "I have new pictures for Kuno of his precious pig-tailed girl." From a tree near the door, a startled squawk came, quickly stifled by an unseen hand. Sasuke peered suspiciously out into the darkness. "Ah…Miss Tendo, did you just hear something?" Nabiki, completely unruffled, said in a bland tone, "A seagull, perhaps?" Sasuke looked around again then nodded slowly. He motioned her into the dim hallway and said, "This way, Miss Tendo."

As she walked in, Nabiki swiftly elbowed a small vase off of an end table sitting under a mirror. As the delicate pottery shattered, she put her hands up to her face in a passable display of horror and said, "Oh no! I’m so sorry…I can pay for it if you like." While Sasuke looked on in horror, two shadows darted in through the open door and down a side hall. The ninja manservant gulped weakly and attempted to smile as he said, "Oh, it w-was nothing…quite worthless. It was a family heirloom." In a tiny voice he added, "From the fifteenth century…" Nabiki flushed slightly and put a hand to her mouth. "Oops…" She muttered quite sincerely. Sasuke sighed and motioned for Nabiki to follow him as he closed the door. "This way…and please, be careful."

From the darkness of an alcove, Ranma and Ukyou watched Nabiki walk away. "Slick move…" Ukyou muttered appreciatively. For slyness, Nabiki was tops in her book, followed close behind by Shampoo, of course. Ranma nodded, but could not refrain from adding, "Though I don’t see why she had to sell that freak Kuno more pictures of me…and I’m damned if I know where that girl gets so many!"

Ukyou chuckled quietly. Ranma poked her in the back and said in a bantering tone, "If you think it’s so funny, we can sell him some pictures of you next time!" Ukyou answered in the same tone, "You know you’re the only man who ever gets to see that, so don’t even think of it!" Ranma gave no answer save to nervously clear his throat, as he became aware of their close proximity. "We’d…better go find that stuff." Ukyou watched with soft eyes as Ranma slipped away down a hall, then swiftly followed after.

CLANK! Ranma held apart the jaws of the giant rattrap as Ukyou slipped through. "Watch out for those things in the future…she really likes big snap-traps and that sort of thing." Ukyou nodded as Ranma jumped through and let the trap snap shut. "How do you know so much about Kodachi’s traps, Ran-chan?" Ranma shrugged as he ducked under a volley of darts shot from a hidden crossbow. "I’ve had to break in here for one reason or another on occasion." Ukyou nodded thoughtfully, continuing the motion smoothly into a duck as an axe blade swung at her head.

After several more minutes of this dodging and weaving, they reached a stone staircase going down into the basement. Ukyou looked at it nervously. "Think this is it?" Ranma eyed the neon signs reading, "Kodachi’s Lab! No Entry! Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here! Turn Back!" and could only nod. The two martial artists moved back to back in an unspoken defensive ploy and slowly went down the stairs into the darkness that waited to engulf them below.

"It…it’s a nightmare…" Ranma forced down his bile and agreed with Ukyou’s whisper of horror. "I knew Kodachi was sick…but this! I never thought she was so far gone!" The laboratory they had entered was plastered with alternating posters of Ranma and the gaijin singer Tom Jones, and it looked like Tom was winning the battle for wall-space. Speakers on the ceiling played "What’s New Pussycat?" in low, insinuating tones. All the lab tables were covered with leopard-skin upholstery and were illuminated by subtle mood lighting. Ranma closed his eyes as another wave of nausea hit him. "Kodachi is into lounge music…I hate lounge music…"

Ukyou forced down the crawling feeling of horror building within her chest and said, "Ranma, we have to hurry and find that potion so we can get out of here!" Ranma swallowed hard and nodded. "Let’s start looking then…"

But despite their frenzied rummaging, nothing could be found that resembled the pale green potion Kodachi had offered Ranma earlier that day. Ukyou wrinkled her nose in disgust at the hodge-podge of bottles, vials, scribbled notes and idle doodles, most of which were of Ranma and Kodachi. At one point, Ukyou stumbled onto a sheaf of papers filled with games of tic-tac-toe Kodachi seemed to have been playing against herself. It appeared that Kodachi had lost most of the games, judging by the angry scribbles around the edges of the paper. Across the room, Ranma growled in frustration. He carelessly tossed a handful of notes on the floor as he turned to Ukyou. "This is pointless…we’ll never find it!" But before Ukyou could answer, a voice floated down the stairs to them. Kodachi’s voice, singing a Tom Jones song. The two intruders froze in terror. Ranma glanced fearfully up the stairs and hissed, "Hide!"

Kodachi Kuno waltzed into her lab singing quietly. "It’s not unusual to be loved by anyone…hmmm…that’s funny, I could have sworn I heard voices…" Somewhere in the room, Ukyou thought to herself, She probably does hear voices…

Kodachi shrugged on a lab coat and drew a pair of spectacles from the pocket. As she slipped them onto the bridge of her nose, she drew a vial of pale green fluid from somewhere on her person. While Ranma and Ukyou tensed to leap, she poured it down the sink and chuckled, "It’s a good thing I didn’t give this to Ranma-sama after all…I’m just glad I noticed that discrepancy in the formula when I did. I don’t know if Ranma would have enjoyed those side effects…" In his hiding place, Ranma shuddered. Across the room from him, Kodachi picked up one of the notes Ranma had tossed to the floor. "That’s odd…how did those get on the floor?" Ranma froze and held his breath. Luckily for him, the mad gymnast merely shrugged and said, "There must have been a breeze. Now, where was I..?"

She took a slip of paper from her pocket and set it on a table. She danced slowly around the room, picking up a jar here and a test tube there. Ranma admitted to himself that with this new look of concentration on her face, Kodachi looked almost…normal. But all thoughts of normalcy, Kodachi’s or anyone else’s, fled when she pursed her lips and said, "As sexy as this mood-lighting is, I think I need some brighter light if I want to avoid any further mistakes. Now, where is that lamp?"

Across the room in the darkest corner, Ranma tried not to scream. With as little movement as possible, he stood stiffer and straightened the lampshade over his head. He stared at the stripped lamp he had hid behind a rack of test tubes as he fit the light bulb in his mouth and prayed for the best. Kodachi stumbled across the room in the dim light and groped for the pull string. As her hand came in contact with Ranma’s braid, he got a sudden idea and tried to focus his chi into his mouth. Kodachi gave his braid a sharp jerk. With a silent prayer, Ranma released the chi into the light bulb. To his amazement, it flickered and came on. Kodachi nodded absently and strode back across the room. Ranma thought to himself, Hell, I never thought that trick would work in real life…I guess that just goes to show you…

Ukyou, from her vantage point on the ceiling where she clung precariously, stared at Ranma’s still form. That moron! She thought. He can’t possibly expect…Her eyes stared out of her head as the light bulb came on. I guess calamity really never does visit the fool.

As Kodachi poured fluids into the tube, Ranma stealthily pulled the lampshade from his head. He looked up at Ukyou, the light bulb still clenched between his teeth, and nodded significantly towards Kodachi. Ukyou nodded and silently dropped to the floor. Ranma turned and, almost as an afterthought snagged a jar marked "Distilled Water" and emptied it over his head. Ukyou raised an eyebrow curiously as Ranma shifted into female form.

At the noise, Kodachi spun to face them. When she saw female Ranma, her eyes blazed. "You!" She hissed venomously. Any doubts over her insanity that Ranma may have had were ended once again. The girl’s expression was unquestionably that of a lunatic. In as firm a tone as she could manage, Ranma-chan said, "Kodachi, we’re here for that formula. We’ll take it back to…Ranma, don’t you worry. But you’re going to have to give it to us." Kodachi held the vial of potion close to her chest and growled, "You seek to ingratiate yourself to my lover by taking the elixir I made to him yourself. I think not!"

Ukyou rolled her eyes and said, "Kodachi, we’re here on Ranma’s behalf. He asked us to come!" Kodachi’s lip curled with scorn. "Why do you think I will believe your foul lies? You wish to take Ranma from me as much as that red-haired slattern does! Die for your lies!" Kodachi whipped a dagger-headed baton from an unknown location and lunged at a very startled Ukyou.

On several occasions, Ukyou had had opportunities to witness Ranma’s prowess in the Art, but she had yet to see him utilize the incredible speed of his female form. Until now. As if appearing out of thin air, Ranma materialized between Ukyou and Kodachi and caught the fist holding the spiked club. Ukyou jumped back. I never even saw him move! She thought incredulously.

Ranma held on tight to Kodachi’s wrist as she said sternly, "Give up that potion Kodachi. Please." The mad gymnast grinned lopsidedly and drew a vial of fluid from her pocket, whose contents she emptied into her mouth. Ranma stepped back, releasing Kodachi in her alarm. Kodachi wiped the last drops of the mysterious potion from her lips and cackled. "O-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho! That potion I drank was a speed increaser I created! Now you are no match for me, harridan. Die!"

Faster than Ukyou had ever seen Kodachi move, the lack-haired girl ripped the lab coat from her body, revealing a gray dress beneath. From the folds of the dress she drew a pair of metal batons. She lunged at Ranma in the same motion and lashed at the cursed boy’s head. Ranma threw herself flat and yelled to Ukyou, "Ucchan! Grab the anti-alcohol stuff and get the hell out of here!" Ukyou nodded and made a dash for the table. Kodachi smirked and hooked the fallen lab coat with her toe. She cackled again as she hooked it up into Ukyou’s face, following it with four swift blows from the batons to her midriff. The okonomiyaki chef went down in a heap. Ranma called her name and lunged at Kodachi.

Ukyou wheezed as she pulled the coat off of her head. That girl was stronger than she looked… Her eyes widened at the sight presented her. Kodachi was holding her own against Ranma in close combat. The two danced around each other in a vicious ballet of calculated attacks. While Ranma was orders of magnitude more skilled than Kodachi, the combination of the speed-increaser and the batons were keeping Ranma out of range. Also, where Ranma was trying to subdue the lunatic she was faced with, Kodachi was obviously fighting to kill. With another cough, Ukyou decided to settle back and let Ranma save her.

Ranma dashed the sweat from her eyes as she dodged another swipe with the baton. Kodachi had improved. A lot. She was actually having trouble getting inside of her defense. And Kodachi knew it too, by the expression of insane glee on her face. Ranma grimly decided to see how much Kodachi could take. Leaving herself visibly open, she moved at her fastest, momentarily becoming a blur as she slammed a fist into Kodachi’s gut. Kodachi winced, but slammed the batons down on Ranma’s shoulders. The cursed boy went down on one knee from the force of the blow, neatly rolling away when her foe tried to smash her head with a baton-butt.

When Ranma stood, she could not help but rub her shoulders, an act only partially made bearable by the look of pain on Kodachi’s twisted face. Good, Ranma thought grimly, she’s still pretty short on staying power. But boy, can she hit hard. Those batons really hurt. A plan occurred to Ranma. Those batons are the key. Kodachi only knows how to fight with a weapon. Take away her weapon and she’s useless.

The red-haired girl moved into a combat stance and said, "Kodachi, I don’t want to fight you. We could actually get along. But I have to have that stuff, even if I have to go through you to get it." Kodachi smiled almost calmly. "That won’t be an issue." Ranma raised an eyebrow questioningly. The gymnast pressed a recessed switch. A click issued from the ceiling above Ranma. She just had time to look up to see a huge object fall towards her.

As the giant steel bust of a grinning Tom Jones flattened Ranma, Kodachi cackled behind her hand. "O-ho-ho-ho! Tom Jones Final Attack! Crushing Presence!" Kodachi flicked a switch on the side of the baton in her right hand. A slender blade projected from the tip with an ominous rasping sound. An eerie look of calm spread over her face as she approached the fallen girl. "I shall relish finally removing your annoying presence. I am sure Ranma-sama will be relieved to know I dealt with-<FLA-WHANG>!"

Kodachi twisted her head around under the weight of Ukyou’s giant spatula, which had been brought down on her head quite forcefully. "I…will…kill…you…" Kodachi grated, "As soon…as I…take a little…nap. Uaagghh…" She slumped to the floor, unconscious. Ukyou sighed and shook her head, part rueful, part amused. "So much for Ranma rescuing me…" She muttered. She sighed again and dragged the steel bust off of Ranma’s prone form. As she looped one of his limp arms over her shoulders she grunted, "C’mon Ran-chan, let’s get outta this loony bin, huh?"

*****

Some time later, Ranma sat on the back porch of the Tendo home and stared out into the warm summer night. Kasumi had already passed out, so they would have to wait until the morning to try out the potion they had stolen from Kodachi. By the time Ukyou dragged Ranma home, Nabiki had beaten them there and had gone to bed as well. The two had made a brief effort to clean up the messy kitchen, but had swiftly abandoned the idea until the morning.

Ranma sighed heavily and rubbed at a sore spot on his head. The condition of the house really drove home how much they all depended on Kasumi on a daily basis. Without her constant efforts to keep things tidy, it really went to pieces in a hurry. Ranma swore to himself that when this whole crisis was over, he would try not to take her for granted anymore. This thought made Ranma think of Akane, and that made him think of a number of other things as well.

He heaved another sigh that seamed to come all the way up from his socks. Ryouga hadn’t been around for a couple of months, and Ranma hadn’t heard from Kuno lately either. Shampoo had refused to come near the house until Kasumi was cured, claiming that seeing Kasumi wasted played hell on her nerves, and that meant that Mousse wasn’t going to be found in the area either. Genma and Soun had been making themselves as scarce as possible for at least a week. In fact, Ranma could not remember seeing either of them at all in at least three days. Heck, even the old pervert hadn’t been in the area for at least a month or two. And what with school being out for summer, Ranma didn’t get to see his school chums much either. The result of all of this was unusual in the extreme. For one of the few times in his life, Ranma Saotome was lonely.

Sure, he had Nabiki, Kasumi and Ukyou around, and normally that would be more than enough. But Kasumi was drugged and acting like a monster, and kept hitting on Ranma too. Nabiki was rarely a sensitive person, but this whole crisis with her sisters had her acting even more distant than usual, so she was hardly a sympathetic ear for Ranma’s troubles. Ukyou was usually one of Ranma’s first choices for someone to talk to about just about anything, and had been so for some time. But over the last week or so, she had begun to act strangely.

Normally, she was just a steadfast and trustworthy friend to rely on and confide in. But lately…lately she started acting like Shampoo or something, all breathy and…and weird. One of the things about Shampoo that irked Ranma was the way she tended to do things that made a sort of nervous, crawly tension form in the pit of his stomach, a sensation that Ranma really disliked, but found that he sort of liked it a little at the same time, which made him like it even less. And now, Ukyou was doing some of the same things. Ranma heaved one last sigh and leaned back against the wall to stare blankly at the night sky. He remained like this for a number of minutes before dragging himself to his feet to go inside.

Ranma frowned slightly as he moved through the dirty house. Kasumi was really getting worse, to the point where she often forgot, or simply neglected to do the little chores she had agreed to do if they did her bidding. The frown vanished momentarily as he passed the bathroom door and heard Ukyou singing in the furo. He smiled and paused to rap on the door and say, "Hey Ucchan, I’m going to bed." He heard a faint splash and a voice on the other side of the door say, "Okay Ranma, I’ll be up in a little bit."

Ranma nodded and moved on, going up the stairs. As he passed the door to Nabiki’s door, shut and locked, his slight frown reappeared. When he moved past Soun Tendo’s empty room, his frown deepened. The frown deepened into a scowl at Akane’s door, shut and looking somehow grim in the silent hall. As he passed Kasumi’s room, where the sour smells of sake and unwashed clothing wafted out to him, his scowl darkened noticeably. Finally, as he entered his own room and looked at the section of floor his father’s often furry bulk should have been occupying, his face began to resemble a storm cloud. Ranma muttered angrily under his breath as he pulled off his shirt and pants and slumped down onto his futon. Still grumbling darkly under his breath, he viciously punched his pillow a few times in a vindictive attempt to soften it somehow. After three of these unsatisfying blows, he grunted angrily and fell back onto the pillow he still felt was being lumpy in an attempt to annoy him and closed his eyes, willing on sleep and the accompanying blessed oblivion it harbored.

As Ukyou stepped out of the furo, she sang the last few notes of some American love song she had heard somewhere. While she toweled off her long chestnut hair, she did a little dancing twirl in place. Once she was done drying her hair, she moved on to her body, thinking This is one cook whose going to be doing a different kind of cooking tonight!

Once she was dry, Ukyou pulled on the clothing she would be wearing to begin seducing the love of her life. When she had gone by her apartment that morning to collect some clean clothing, she had briefly entertained the idea of bringing some naughty lingerie, but had swiftly vetoed the idea. She was sure Ranma got plenty of that sort of thing from Shampoo, who probably crawled all over him. No, to get his mind in the right frame, she would have to be a little more subtle, a little more innocent in her seduction, if indeed there was any such thing as an innocent seduction.

So, for the first step towards making Ranma want to get down on his knees and thank the kami for giving him a fiancée like her, Ukyou chose to wear a billowy oversized tee-shirt, no bra, and a pair of rather meek panties. The reasoning for this was simple enough. Ukyou figured that Shampoo had her licked in the bust department from the get-go, but if the warrior cook was going to pick any part of her body to showcase, it would have to be her long legs. Kind genetics had given her naturally long and slender legs, and long hours of daily training had given them powerful muscles and a firm shape. But rather than give her guy-legs, like a body builder, Ukyou felt that her strong musculature set off the feminine curves in her calves and thighs all the better. In any case, the end result was a pair of tanned, smooth legs that many idle observers had commented, in and out of her hearing, looked as if they went on forever.

So it was that as Ukyou climbed the stairs towards Ranma’s room, she thought of ways to draw Ranma’s attention to her legs. Hmmm…what to say? She thought, "Ranma, I cut myself shaving my legs. Is the cut very noticeable?" No, too obvious. "Ranma, do you think I have chicken-legs?" Nope, that’s even more obvious, and it makes me sound vapid. Hmmm…

She was still pondering when she slid open the door to the room she shared with Ranma. Seeing him already prone on his futon, she said cheerfully, "You meanie, you didn’t even wait up for me!" Ranma grunted quietly and sat up to look at her. She could not help but smile at how cute he looked with his hair a little tousled on top. All thoughts of clever plans going out a mental window, Ukyou used her original plan and asked, "Ranma, do you think I have good legs?"

Ukyou struck an artful pose for Ranma, displaying the maximum amount of leg she could without being blatant. As she arched one leg out in front of the other, she gave him a tiny glimpse of yellow panties under the hem of the loose shirt. She looked questioningly at her fiancée and raised an eyebrow in what she hoped was a subtly suggestive manner. Ranma stared at her silently. She felt her hope rising.

But after a long beat of silence, Ukyou began to become uncomfortable with the pig-tailed boy’s silence. She was about to say something when his face began to turn an alarming shade of red. Quietly, he said, "You too Ukyou?" Ukyou blinked and began to say something, but he cut her off by sighing and looking down for a moment. He looked up, and fury was plainly written on his face. "I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!" He bellowed. Ukyou moved back a step, unnerved by this show of rage. Ranma seemed to be trying to say something else, but instead settled for a wordless bellow. This done, he turned and leaped out the window into the night. Ukyou ran to the window and called his name in alarm, but got no answer.

Within five minutes, Ukyou was fully dressed and climbing out the window after Ranma. Neither Nabiki nor Kasumi had reacted to the yelling, a fact that relieved Ukyou. She didn’t have time to explain to either of them what was going on. As she clambered up onto the roof, she somehow knew where Ranma would be. Wordlessly, she walked across the roof towards the hunched figure sitting on the extreme eastern edge of the roof. She silently sat down next to Ranma, who made no sign that he was aware of her being there. Content for the moment to just sit in silence, Ukyou looked out at the slightly lightening horizon and swung her legs like a child.

After several minutes, Ranma spoke quietly. "I’m sorry for blowing up at you like that." Ukyou shook her head and answered, "No, I should be apologizing to you. I never thought how you might be feeling. I acted like Shampoo, or Kasumi. That was wrong, and I’m sorry." Ranma nodded and went back to looking out over the horizon. For a couple more minutes, silence reigned supreme. Finally Ukyou broke the silence by saying thoughtfully, "I begin to realize that all of us, me, Shampoo, Kodachi, Nabiki, heck, a lot of people, have been treating you like some sort of piece of meat to be bought, sold and fought over. We’ve all been so wrapped in our own visions of you, we never really stopped to wonder if you liked it." Ranma snorted somewhat bitterly. Ukyou poked him in the side and said sharply, "But it’s not exactly as if you tried very hard to discourage anyone either."

Ranma opened his mouth to issue a sharp retort, but stopped and got a slightly embarrassed expression on his face. He flushed and said, "Well…I guess it was kind of fun…sometimes. But most of the time, it was just sort of annoying and embarrassing. More than anything, I couldn’t stand everyone hitting on me and stuff, like I was some sort of moron who only thinks with his crotch." The look he shot Ukyou was so pained it made her heart ache. "I know I’m no genius Ucchan, but that really hurts. I’m smart enough to know better than to walk around with my tongue hangin’ out like some hentai jerk!" Ranma waved his hands in the air irritably. "And that’s what pisses me off the most! Every time someone jumps on me like Shampoo always does, I try and get away, I really do, but everyone thinks I’m sort of lady-killer jerk! Hell, Akane’s permanently convinced I’m a pervert! And that’s why I got so mad when you did that thing back there," Ukyou felt her face grow warm, and was suddenly glad the light was so low that Ranma couldn’t see her blush from shame at her crude attempt at seduction. "It’s ‘cause you almost never treat me like any of them do, like someone you could manipulate by acting sexy or something. You’re my best friend, so I can trust you to treat me normal…"

Ukyou sighed deeply and said, close to tears, "Look, I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to insult you so deeply…" Ranma groaned and put an arm around her awkwardly. "Aww…Ucchan, I…I didn’t mean it like…c’mon, I’m sorry, okay?" Ukyou shrugged his arm off and glared at him in the dim light. "Are you as dumb as you act, or are you really so oblivious?" Ranma blinked at this sudden reversal. Ukyou jabbed him in the chest with a finger. "I’ve told you time and again how I feel about you, and you keep trying to pretend that you don’t hear anything! I’m glad to be your friend, I really am, but I want more of you than that! Hell, you’ve even made me say it yourself! I love you, and you keep putting me off. Well, listen up! If you want me to be your friend, you have to show me some respect too. I’ll try to avoid treating you as less than you are, but you can’t blow me off either!"

Ranma stared at her as she crossed her arms across her chest and stared at him defiantly. He looked at her with the face of someone who is having their defenses pulled down and mauled on the ground. Finally, his face crumpled slightly and the tough young man vanished inward. Ranma looked down over the side of the roof and whispered, "I’m sorry." Ukyou wordlessly watched Ranma fidget. He went on, "I know. I know how you feel, how all of you feel. But I can’t. I know it sounds selfish, but I can’t just arbitrarily decide who I want to marry and tell everyone else to go away. ‘So sorry, but I made my choice, so the rest of you kindly bug off!’ I just can’t do that!"

Ukyou raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. Ranma glanced at her and continued. "I don’t want to hurt anyone, that’s all. I guess…I guess I hoped it would all go away on it’s own, like if I held off from doing anything for long enough, all of the people who wanted a piece of me would go away." Ukyou asked quietly, "And that hurts us any less?" Ranma stared at her, and Ukyou was amazed to see unshed tears in his eyes. "I know," He whispered, "but I…I just don’t want to screw anything up. I keep thinking, ‘Okay, now I can decide.’ But I can’t! I mean, the truth is, Shampoo and Kodachi scare me." Ukyou could not help but giggle at the frankness of his tone. "That really leaves only you and Akane. Akane hates me, I know that." Ukyou shook her head slightly. Oh Ranma…you don’t even know how much she loves you…you don’t even know…Ranma went on, "But even in light of how I know you feel, I can’t decide. Since Akane got kidnapped, I’ve found myself sort of missing her, and I don’t know what that means! How can I love you if I miss her when she’s gone? How can I love her if I feel something for you? I can’t hurt either of you…I…I just can’t."

He sighed and hunched forward again. Even though she felt her mind doing acrobatics at the realization that Ranma felt something for her in return, she knew to put her arm around Ranma and pull him close to her. The normally tough boy gladly leaned against her in a friendly embrace, and sat quietly. Ukyou waited for the inevitable, finally nodding when she heard Ranma begin to sniffle quietly. A year’s worth of frustration, confusion, and mental anguish began to quietly seep out of Ranma’s tear ducts. While he cried, Ukyou hugged him close and clenched her free hand into a fist. I hope you’re suffering right now Akane, she thought grimly, because the way you’re making people suffer here, you had better be miserable right now.

*****Interlude*****

Akane laid back on the tousled sheets of the heart-shaped bed and wiped a sheen of glistening sweat from her face. She exhaled heavily and whispered, "That was incredible." Next to her on the bed, Rei said, "Yeah, you could say that…" Akane rolled over weakly to look at her friend with amazement. "My whole body is sore. Where the hell did you learn how to do that?!" Rei shrugged and smiled. "I just picked it up. I like to think of it as an art form." Akane rolled back over and stared back at the ceiling. "Six straight hours…I never thought I could go for so long working so hard…" Rei nodded sagely and said, "I like to think I bring out the best in a girl." Akane smiled happily and said, "But it was fun. Hell, let’s do it again!" Rei stared at her incredulously. "Already?" Akane nodded eagerly. Rei pushed at her and said "Girl, you are a machine! Six hours of Anything Goes Shopping, and you’re ready to go back for more!" Akane moved aside a few bags and packages to stretch out more and smiled with satisfaction. Life was good.

*****End Interlude*****

Ukyou sat up outside Ranma’s room with her knees drawn up to her chest. Ranma had finally stopped his tears of pent-up frustration and sworn her to secrecy about it. Ukyou smiled and shook her head. Ever the tough guy…She thought wryly. She had agreed and convinced Ranma to get some sleep. Once she was sure he was asleep, she had crawled out into the hall to think for a while.

This new revelation about the way Ranma was thinking changed a few things. Ukyou wasn’t sure she could continue to treat Ranma as she had, what with what she now understood. Of course, that didn’t mean she would stop trying to seduce him. Ukyou smiled softly. It just meant that now she would have to more careful of how she went about it. For some time longer she sat outside the bedroom and formed plans all her own.

*****

"No way!" Akane shook her head violently as she looked at herself in the mirror. Rei gave vent to a long-suffering sigh. "Akane," She explained patiently, "The outfit is reasonably important to this part of your training."

Akane glared over her shoulder at her friend. "I fail to see how dressing like a hooker will teach me anything I want to know." Rei sighed again and held up the articles of clothing Akane had recently thrown at her. "They aren’t that bad. You should try them on before you get all riled up about it."

The outfit in question was one Rei had done most of the choosing, even though it was for Akane, siting her status as Master, allowing her to choose what was best for her pupil’s training. "It is the student’s job to listen and learn, not to question, not at this stage." She had said to Akane. At the time, this had seemed fairly reasonable to Akane, but now that she could see the outfit, she was not so sure. The outfit was a rather interesting black skirt and blouse number that went with some undergarments that were, in Akane’s opinion, rather questionable.

Thoroughly put out by her friend and pseudo-disciple’s stubbornness, Rei growled under her breath and said, "It’s not like I’m telling you to do anything I wouldn’t do! It’ll look fine!" Akane shot back, "Fine. You wear it then." Rei smirked and replied, "I would, but I have my own outfit." Akane raised an eyebrow that spoke volumes. Rei asked, "Want to see it?" Curiosity sparked inside of Akane. She nodded, and Rei briefly left the room. After a minute of quiet shuffles and whispery sounds of cloth being moved about, she reentered the bedroom.

The ninja chef was dressed in a high-collared glossy black silk Chinese dress, like one of Shampoo’s, but different in a number of ways. The dress was gleaming black with raised black stitch-work in a pattern Akane could barely make out due to the black on black effect. The slits on the sides went almost scandalously high, and the inverted triangle cutout in the bodice made Akane want to blush faintly just looking at it. Rei raised a large black fan lined with frilly white feathers in front of her face and asked coyly, "You like?"

Akane nodded wordlessly as she perused her friend. With the combination of Rei’s rather pale skin and glossy black hair, the black dress contrasted with her skin enough to almost make her seem a two-dimensional figure, a black and white image stepped out of an old-time movie. Akane swallowed weakly. She looks fantastic…She thought, I’m going to look like a troll compared to her! Seeing the look of glum depression coming on in her friend’s face, Rei said, "Try yours on, Akane. You’ll look hot, trust me."

Akane had to be physically coaxed towards the other room to change, but in the end, she went willingly enough. Rei smiled at the muttered curses as Akane struggled into the clothing she had had chosen for her. After a few minutes, Akane’s voice floated through the partially closed door. "I just know there’s a good reason why this damn thing is so tight." Rei chuckled and said, "Come on out and look at yourself." After a brief pause, a single sullen word came from the other room. "No." Rei sighed and leaned against the wall next to the door. Trying not to smile, she said, "Chicken." This time, the pause was considerably longer. Finally, Akane answered, "What?" Rei did smile this time. "You heard me. Chicken."

The door slid open firmly. "Akane stood in the doorway, dressed in her outfit, glaring murderously around. "Who’s chicken?!" She demanded angrily. "Who are you…oh." She broke off as she caught sight of herself in the full-length mirror Rei had dragged from the bathroom earlier that day. The momentary anger fled at the image before her.

The Akane in the mirror wore a tight black silk midriff blouse similar in pattern to Rei’s, but cut to fit almost like a second skin while leaving the milk-white skin of Akane’s flat stomach exposed. From the waist down an intensely black skirt seemed almost to run down Akane’s legs and into a pool on the floor like shining ink. When she moved in the skirt, feeling the exquisitely cool silk flow around her legs smoothly, the shapely curves of her legs and hips were plainly visible, but remained concealed behind the skirt. The blouse had a similar effect, for thought it felt and looked as if it had been virtually painted on, it outlined her bust wonderfully, but rose to her neck, leaving the most explicit bits strictly to the imagination. Wide-eyed with wonder, Akane ran a hand over her cheek, down her neck, and across her bare stomach. Seeing her entranced expression, Rei moved over and stood next to Akane, so both girls were in the frame of the mirror. Rei struck a pose and said in Akane’s ear, "We look good, huh?" Akane whispered fervently, "Oh yeah."

The two girls giggled and struck a variety of poses, admiring their appearances. Akane turned to Rei and demanded, "Where did you get these? I know you said you were picking out an outfit for me, but you never bought either of these at any of the stores we went to!" Rei grinned. "You caught me. I took your measurements a week ago while you were asleep and phoned them in to a friend of mine. She owed me a favor, so she worked around the clock for the whole week making these. These two outfits are both originals, totally unique." Akane nudged Rei in the ribs and grinned. "You know, for a rootless vagabond wandering the world in search of revenge, you certainly seem to be well-connected. This friend of yours is a genius!"

Rei winked and answered, "Appearances can be deceiving sometimes." Akane was about to answer when someone began rattling at the doorknob to the room and cursing quietly. Rei glanced at the door and rolled her eyes. "I’ll deal with this." She said to Akane and strode to the door.

Ryouga had been having a hard day. He had tried to find his way out of his room that morning for two hours before finally giving up and jumping through the window. The twelfth floor window. Luckily for him, his room overlooked the enclosed pool area. Of course, at the time he did not see falling twelve floors into a pool, and then wandering dazed and battered around in pig form for much of the morning very lucky at all. By the time he had managed to turn back into his human form and reclaim his soaking wet clothing from the pool, it was close to noon. The fact that he had managed to make it back to the hotel the same day, in a matter of hours was practically a miracle in of itself. But as if this weren’t enough, nobody would help the sopping wet boy find his room again, so Ryouga had spent the last four hours tracing his path across the floor with a piece of chalk he found in one of his pockets. As he walked down the halls, he dragged the chalk over the left wall, leaving an unbroken white line. This way, he knew when he was passing an area he had already covered. He would do this until he found an elevator. He was doing fine, and had made it all the way to the twelfth floor when he came around a corner to find a handyman washing one of his chalk marks from the wall.

The handyman had agreed to walk Ryouga to his room after seeing the look of impending death, destruction and mayhem on Ryouga’s face. They had made it to the right hall when Ryouga turned to watch the handyman run off at top speed, apparently wanting to get back to work, or go check his life insurance policies, or something. This was a mistake, for when Ryouga looked back at the door, he realized the handyman hadn’t indicated which one it was. So, madder than ever, Ryouga looked at the door he believed the man had indicated. And as he grunted curses under his breath and jiggled the doorknob, the lock clicked abruptly and the door swung open.

Ryouga blinked as a pretty young girl wearing glasses and a rather racy Chinese dress stepped into view. She looked at him pointedly and asked tersely, "Yes?" Ryouga blinked, blushed, glanced unwittingly at the cleavage displayed by the cutout in the dress, blushed harder, and stammered, "Um…I-I thought this w-was my room. Um…isn’t this room 812?" The girl gave him the sort of look reserved for simpletons or Canadians and pointed to the plaque by the door. It read, "810". Ryouga laughed in embarrassment and scratched the back of his head. The girl pointed across the hall and said, "Your room is right over there." This said, she shut the door in Ryouga’s face before he could so much as utter an apology. Ryouga shrugged and muttered, "Weird girl." This said, he turned to go into his room, unconsciously wandering off down the hall in the general direction of Australia.

Akane glanced up from the mirror to ask, "Who was that?" Rei shrugged. "Just some guy. He was lost and thought this was his room…" Akane chuckled and said to herself, "Sounds like Ryouga to me…" She froze, blinked, and stared at the door. Silently she rushed to the door and looked out into the hall. No sign of anyone. She chuckled and shook her head. As she walked back into the room, Rei raised an eyebrow questioningly. Akane shook her head and said, "Never mind. So, what now?"

Rei gestured towards the bathroom. "Take off that dress so we can go get something to eat. Then, when we get back, we get dressed up and go hit the clubs." Akane nodded and headed for the bathroom. Once she was in the bathroom with the door closed, Rei looked in the mirror, recalling Akane’s expression of pleasure at the surprise outfit. A soft smile crossed her face. Akane…she thought, whatever happens when we go back to Nerima, I’m going to see you happy, even if it means letting Ranma have you. But you will be happy, this I promise.

*****

Ranma and Ukyou sat on either side of Kasumi’s bed, watching the drunken girl slowly awaken. In Ranma’s hand was the potion they had stolen from Kodachi. He and Ukyou had agreed on a plan: Ukyou would hold Kasumi down once she was partially awake while Ranma force-fed the potion to her.

Kasumi yawned, bathing both Ranma and Ukyou with morning breath and sake fumes strong enough to stun a horse. Ranma squinted, his eyes watering, waiting for Kasumi to move. The eldest Tendo stretched sleepily and shifted in her bed. Ranma nodded briefly to Ukyou and readied the potion. Ukyou leaned forward and pinned Kasumi to the bed with her combat spatula. The half-asleep girl’s eyes shot open. Ranma pinched her nose shut with one hand, and as she gasped for air poured the potion down her throat. Kasumi coughed and reflexively swallowed the unpleasant-looking substance. This done, both martial artists leaned back, releasing her with bated breath.

Kasumi coughed mightily, then opened her eyes slowly. She looked at Ranma blankly for a moment, then whispered hoarsely, "Ranma-kun?" Ranma leaned forward to hear her. "Yes Kasumi?" Kasumi took a deep breath and closed her eyes. After exhaling slowly, she opened her eyes and looked into Ranma’s face seriously. "Ranma…" She weakly gripped his collar. Ranma leaned closer still. Kasumi’s eyes suddenly blazed and she began shaking the startled boy violently. "You little twerp!" She yelled, "What the hell did you make me drink?! That tasted bloody awful!" Ranma tried to explain to the enraged Tendo, but found that speaking while being violently bobbled about was harder than it looked. To her credit, Ukyou was looking for a way to bash Kasumi, but could not hit her without hitting Ranma as well.

Still shaking Ranma, Kasumi glared at Ukyou and said, "Where’s my sake?!" Ukyou, paralyzed by the expression of near-murderous rage on Kasumi’s face, shakingly handed an unopened bottle of sake to the drugged girl. When she saw the bottle, Kasumi’s face smoothed. Without looking away from the liquor in Ukyou’s hand, she tossed Ranma out into the hall, ignoring his startled squawk. Ukyou dashed out after him as Kasumi ripped the bottle open and began chugging the potent liquid. She knelt down and pulled her dazed fiancée into a sitting position as the door to the bedroom slammed shut. "It didn’t work." Ranma mumbled numbly. Ukyou, correlated, equally numbly, "It didn’t work."

Ranma dragged himself to his feet. He stared blankly at the floor for a moment, then looked at Ukyou and said, "I’ll be in the dojo if you need me." Ukyou watched him walk slowly down the hall and down the stairs. Still sitting on the floor outside Kasumi’s room, Ukyou pounded her fist against the floor in frustration. She clenched her fist until her knuckles turned white as a string of rather shocking curses ran through her head. She was just getting to really juicy ones when an absurdly simple idea came to her. The fact that it seemed absurdly simple should have warned her away from it in the first place, but at the moment anything short of asking Shampoo for help on her knees would have sounded good. Ukyou got to her feet as she worked out the logistics of her new idea. It seemed to be capable of working. The warrior cook headed for the dojo to share her idea with Ranma.

Ukyou found Ranma staring blankly as he performed a ludicrously complex kata on an unassuming wooden dummy. To her trained eye, the kata appeared to be equal parts Chung Chuan kung fu, Jiu-jitsu, Muay Thai kick-boxing and kempo karate, all of them blending together at a speed that would have made most professional martial artists blush in shame. Ukyou smiled and walked up to him, making sure to keep well out of his strike range. "Hey Ranma, I just had an idea…"

But Ranma didn’t answer, instead opting to continue hitting the dummy, which Ukyou noticed was starting to splinter, despite being made of solid hardwood padded with three-inch thick leather and cotton batting. Ukyou felt a small amount of irritation at Ranma’s ignoring her, but swallowed it and forced the smile to keep from slipping. "Hey!" She called. Ranma gave no answer. This time, the annoyance didn’t go away. She sighed, picked up a bamboo training sword and hefted it experimentally. "Hmm," She muttered, "Different from my spatula, but still has a nice heft. It’ll do." This said, she smashed it down on Ranma’s head as hard as she could, which was very hard indeed. The bamboo cracked and splintered noisily. Ranma blinked and halted his kata. Sweat held in by the considerable level of exertion he had made began pouring down his arms and neck in small rivers. He panted as reality reinserted itself into the situation and informed him that he had just exerted himself. He looked around dazedly until he spotted Ukyou. "Oh, hi Ucchan…what’s up?" Ukyou arched her eyebrows and pointed at the rather battered training dummy. "I think you killed him Ranma."

Ranma flushed with embarrassment at the show of lack of control he had put on. He scratched at the back of his head and mumbled, "Whoops…didn’t mean to do that." He happened across a large lump on the top of his head and probed at it gently. "What the hell is this? It hurts like hell." Ukyou hid the broken training sword behind her back and tried to look innocent. In an effort to change the subject she asked, "So, why were you trying to beat that poor fellow to death?" Ranma looked at the rather battered dummy somewhat guiltily. "Ah…this whole thing with Kasumi has me pretty tense. I guess I just felt like hitting something." Ranma chuckled and said, "Too bad Ryouga isn’t in town, huh? If he was here, I’d have someone to spar with nonstop."

Ukyou smiled at him. "Why, you need someone to spar with?" Ranma chuckled again and wiped the sweat from his brow. "Yeah, well…as handy as these are," He punched the sparring dummy, making a number of hairline cracks in it spread noisily. He winced, but went on anyway. "It’s nice to have someone real to practice with." Ukyou tossed aside the broken sword and said brightly, "I’ll spar with you!" Ranma smiled at her and patted her on the shoulder. "Aah…thanks Ucchan, that’s okay."

She tensed slightly. When she spoke, there was a new tenseness in her voice that any sensible man would have noticed. "Why not? Don’t you think I could keep up with you?" Sadly, Ranma Saotome was a great many things, but sensible was not one of them. "Well…it’s just that, I dunno, I think we’re on kind of different levels, that’s all…" Anything else he might have said was cut off when Ukyou grabbed another bamboo sword from a nearby rack and slammed it down on his head, snapping it in half in the process. Ranma blinked and said with surprising calm, "What was that all about?"

Ukyou glared at him. "I seem to recall beating the tar out of you the first time we sparred after I came back." Ranma chuckled and brushed bamboo splinters from his hair. "Ucchan…that was a while ago. I’ve gotten a lot better since then." Ukyou glared all the harder. "So have I!" She insisted fiercely. Ranma shook his head and put a hand on her shoulder. She stared at his hand and then at him. She was amazed to see a relatively serious look in his eyes. "Ucchan," He said solemnly, "What do you do when you aren’t in school?" Ukyou blinked, then answered, "Well…I-I open my restaurant…a-and cook there ‘till closing…" Ranma sighed and interrupted. "That’s my point. When I’m not in school, I’m practicing. I get in at least three or four hours of solid practice in just about every day. How many do you get in?" Ukyou tried to stammer out an answer, but Ranma cut her off. "Mousse, Kuno, and especially Ryouga are always challenging me too. And while I’m not so sure about those others, Ryouga’s always training too, and he keeps on getting better. And that’s not even mentioning the old freak. Thanks to those jerks, I’m constantly getting better and learning new techniques. But when was the last time you actually got a formal challenge? You spar with Shampoo and Akane now and then, but nothing serious."

The okonomiyaki chef stared at her fiancée in shock. When had Ranma become so brutally forthright? She stared at him as he looked down at her compassionately. Finally she dashed away the twin tears that had formed in her eyes. "Maybe you have a point," She said angrily, "But I don’t think that’s the real reason you won’t spar with me." Ranma blinked. Ukyou jabbed him sharply in the ribs with her finger. "I think you’re just worried you might get beaten by a girl."

Ranma stared at her for several beats. Then, his face began to turn slightly red. "I ain’t scared of no girl!" He yelled, becoming the Ranma she knew so well brash and so very confident. Ukyou smiled thinly. "If that’s the truth, why don’t you spar with me. Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you too badly." Ranma growled and exclaimed, "I don’t want to hit you Ucchan!" She laughed and poked him again. "Why? Scared you might bwake the poor wittle girly-girl?" She said this last sentence in a condescending baby-talk voice, and accompanied it with a third poke to the stomach. Ranma tried to knock her hand away, but missed. "Quit pokin’ me!" He growled. Ukyou stuck her tongue out at him and said, "Make me!" Ranma growled again. Ukyou sighed and stepped back from him. "Look Ranma," She said in a more serious tone, "Remember how I told you that you would have to stop blowing me off?" Ranma, whose slight irritation had vanished at her somber tone, nodded silently. Ukyou gave him a reassuring lopsided smile. "Well, treating me like a powder puff that you could smash by accident counts as blowing me off. I’ve been training in the Art as long as you have. Sure, you practice more than I do, but I can still give a pretty fair accounting for myself. Besides," Here she glanced back at the house, "You aren’t the only one with some steam to blow off." She looked back at Ranma. The pigtailed martial artist stared at his feet for several silent seconds. Finally, he looked up at her and nodded once. "Fine. You want it, you got it." Ukyou smiled in relief and replied, "Okay, let me go change into something better for fighting in." She ran back to the house with Ranma watching her go.

About five minutes later, Ranma and Ukyou stood in the dojo watching each other warily. Ukyou had changed into a tight leotard, a loose tank top, and a pair of comfortable shorts. While the outfit had been chosen for ease of movement, she was more than pleased with the little sidelong glances Ranma kept shooting her when he thought she wasn’t looking. She smiled and adjusted the hip-holster of throwing spatulas she had strapped on. Her larger combat spatula rested against her side with its comfortably worn-down grip rubbing against her side. Once she was sure the holster wouldn’t shift around when she started moving, she looked up and moved into a combat stance. Across from her, Ranma relaxed in a bored pose with his hands behind his head.

Thoroughly annoyed by his casual appearance, Ukyou pointed over his shoulder and cried, "Kasumi! Put your shirt on!" Ranma whipped around reflexively. Even as he did, he realized he had been tricked. But it was too late, for even as he tried to twist back around three swift punches slammed into his chest, followed closely by an elbow strike to his jaw. Ukyou jumped back and moved back into a defensive stance. Ranma rubbed his jaw and glared. "What did you do that for?!" Ukyou sniffed and said disdainfully, "Honestly Ranma, if that’s how you act in a real fight, it’s a wonder that you ever win."

This was the last straw for Ranma. He dashed forward and unleashed a flurry of punches and kicks at Ukyou’s chest and face so fast that they seemed to blur into a single attack. To both his and Ukyou’s amazement, she managed to deflect them. This isn’t good, Ukyou thought nervously as she moved onto the defensive against a second explosive blast of strikes, I didn’t think he’d get this worked up. It’s a good thing I practice when I can, or I’d be out cold by now. Ranma bellowed and charged in with a complex high-low combination of kicks. "Yaaaaaaaaahh!" Ukyou deflected them with the head and shaft of her combat spatula, but found she was already sweating rivers. She grunted and attempted an offensive attack with her spatula, but Ranma batted it aside almost scornfully, retaliating with an open-palm strike aimed for her face. Ukyou gasped and dropped flat to avoid the deadly strike. She rolled away and came to her feet in a flash. "What’s the big idea?!" She demanded.

Ranma glared at her and spat, "What’s wrong? This is what you wanted!" This said, he charged at her again, lashing out with all four limbs in what Ukyou noted in a rather detached way was a truly amazing blend of Eight-Directional Fist Kung Fu and Okinawan Karate. As she desperately deflected the attacks, Ukyou thought, What’s wrong with him? He’s trying to kill me! But then, even in mid-block, something came to her. He isn’t trying to kill me! This is how he spars! This is probably how he fights every day. After all, those jerks that are always challenging him fight to kill…I never realized on what a high level he was fighting! Have I bitten off more than I can chew? Ukyou took a glancing blow to the shoulder, but sneaked in a jab to Ranma’s side that made him wince slightly. More firmly now, Ukyou told herself, Buck up and shut up! Ranma’s right! You wanted this, so you got it. Now fight him!

A new determination came into her eyes. With a battle cry of her own, Ukyou leaped at Ranma, swinging her spatula in a complex figure eight. Ranma deflected the attacks easily, but was knocked back by the high spinning kick she followed the attack with. Ranma wiped his jaw with the back of his hand and grinned. As she landed lightly, Ukyou grinned back. An unspoken thought passed between them as their eyes met. They ran at each other once again.

For more than twenty minutes, the two martial artists surged back and forth across the dojo trading blows. Ukyou’s body felt sore from head to toe, and she was sure she would be black and blue from head to toe by morning, but she didn’t care. Ranma would have a bruise the size of an orange on his chest, not to mention another on his thigh and a real beauty on his jaw that had already turned red and swelled a little. Of course, Ukyou was no better off. She wasn’t sure if she would be able to lift her left arm for weeks, judging by the way that it throbbed. But still, she was happy. She almost felt like laughing, if her lungs didn’t ache so.

For the umpteenth time, Ranma lunged in with a vicious attack, although much slower now. Though not as tired as Ukyou, the pigtailed boy was noticeably tired. Unlike a normal fight where he would be going for sheer economy of motion, in a sparring match, Ranma could go wild and really let loose. So it was that when he swung a high jab at Ukyou’s jaw, she managed to grab him and throw him in a simple shoulder throw. But Ranma, heir to one of the best grappling schools around, locked the wrist of her throwing arm in a simple maneuver and twisted in mid-air. As he came down, he lowered his arms, spinning a very startled Ukyou around and trapping her arm behind her. However, because they were both rather worn down and getting tired-clumsy, their feet became tangled together as he landed. They both shouted with surprise as they staggered and collapsed in a heap.

Ranma groaned and rubbed his forehead. From underneath him came a loud giggle. He looked down to find that he was lying on top of a very battered-looking Ukyou. He started with surprise. She stared up at him and bit her lip to try and hold back another giggle. But it was to no avail, for after a moment she began to giggle again. Ranma soon joined in, though he was not quite sure why. Soon they were both laughing uproariously for no apparent reason. The laughter of the two friends continued for some time before Ranma managed to stop laughing and wipe the tears of mirth from his eyes. Still chuckling a little, he asked, "Why exactly are we laughing?" Ukyou, still laughing weakly, answered, "Because you’re so clumsy. What kind of move was that, Anything-Goes Stumbling?"

This elicited another round of fresh laughter from them. After this died down, Ukyou bit at her lower lip in a manner that Ranma found quite fetching and looked up at him thoughtfully. For some reason, the look in her eyes made him want to swallow hard. He did so. Finally, Ukyou said, "Ranma, you’re…um, you’re kind of squishing me." He looked where she glanced and turned bright pink as he identified what the rather soft objects pressed against his chest were. He began stammering a frantic apology, but Ukyou cut him off in a way he hadn’t expected. She pulled her arms from under him and grabbed the sides of his head in a rather firm grip. This done, she pulled his head down to hers and kissed him very, very firmly.

Ranma made a fair impression of a man whose eyeballs were trying to climb out of his skull and go off to a calmer environment. At first, Ranma struggled weakly, but soon surrendered. When Ukyou finally broke the kiss, she looked up at him, half in wonder and half in fear. She had done it. She had kissed him. Ranma stared back at her wordlessly. A little more hesitantly than she would have liked, Ukyou said his name. His answer was not what she had expected. Ranma bent down and kissed her back, also very firmly. He moved his arms around her in a tight embrace. Ukyou was startled for all of a second before reciprocating by wrapping her arms around him, locking one hand rather tightly in his hair. The kiss seemed to go on and on, but finally Ranma broke it with a gasp. Ukyou opened her eyes, realizing she had shut them at some undetermined time, and looked up at Ranma with naked emotion in them. Ranma shuddered and stared back down at her with something like horror in his eyes. Ukyou felt as if someone had just kicked her in the stomach rather hard. With a second gasp, Ranma broke their embrace and leaped away. Ukyou laid there, too stunned to move. Ranma stood slowly, shaking his head slowly as he tried to work his mouth. Finally, two words slipped out in a rush. "I’m sorry!" This said, he turned and dashed out of the dojo. Ukyou watched him go silently. After a while, she sat up and stared after him. She whispered his name once, then fell back to the floor and cried bitterly.

*****

Akane tried not to gawk at Rei as her friend came out of the bathroom. The ninja cook had put on her Chinese dress and discarded her glasses, as well as pulling her hair up into a bun. When she spied Akane, Rei opened her glossy black fan and held it in front of her face. "What do you think?" She asked coyly. Akane answered truthfully, "You look fantastic." Rei blew her a kiss and said, "So do you."

Akane was rather pleased with her own outfit as well. She had brushed her hair until it shone, and left it down, but had accented her stark black dress and hair with a brilliantly white silk lily she had bought in a shop while she and Rei had returned from dinner, clipping it behind her ear so it gleamed in a bed of silky midnight-black hair. This, a pair of silver bracelets Rei had bought her a few days ago, and a simple silver chain link necklace completed her outfit. Rei wore pearl earrings she had produced from a pocket in her backpack. Both girls wore a light base that made their pale skin look the color of milk accentuated the starkly beautiful black and white image of their outfits. They took one last look at themselves in the mirror, then headed out the door.

Rei hailed a taxi once they reached the street, and as they climbed in, she spied the driver looking at them appreciatively. She mentally sneered and said politely, "Do you know where Club C is?" The driver thought for a minute, then nodded. Rei primly commanded, "Take us there." The driver bobbed a quick nod and pulled away from the curb.

When the taxi slowed to a stop, Akane looked out the window dubiously. They had stopped in front of a large warehouse-like building near where she believed they had first arrived and trained. While Rei paid the driver, Akane stepped out of the taxi and looked up at the large building. A steady base throb pulsed out of the building. Rei stepped up next to Akane and put an arm around her. "Here," She said, "Is where you learn the final lesson. Are you ready?" Akane took a deep breath, was annoyed to find that it was somewhat shaky, and nodded as firmly as she could. Rei squeezed her shoulder encouragingly. They went in.

Akane’s first impression was one of awe. The inside of Club C was big. Really big. It was, in fact, a converted warehouse, stripped down and refitted to be one hell of a dance club. Against the far wall was a raised platform upon which were the DJ and his turntables, which to Akane looked to be about the size of a small building. Colored lights whirled and flashed over the packed dance floor constantly, flashing green, red, blue, white, purple and back to green. Around the edges of the cordoned off dance floor were small tables, many of which were packed. Above her was a second floor, sort of a balcony that went all the way around the edges of the building, leaving the middle open for the people on the second floor to watch the dancers. After a minute of staring about in wonder, Akane was grabbed by the hand by Rei, who dragged her towards the bar that took up much of one side of the building. Rei grinned over her shoulder at her and shouted, "Let’s get something to drink!"

Once they reached the bar, they approached one of the five bartenders. A tall man dressed in a vest and bow tie, he smiled at them and asked, "What will you ladies be having?" Rei smiled up at him and said, "Two Paradise Roads!" The bartender asked to see some I.D., to which Rei produced an I.D. card that seemed to satisfy him. He bowed shortly and went over to mix their drinks. Akane said in Rei’s ear, "You aren’t old enough to drink! And neither am I!" Rei kissed her lightly on the cheek and answered, "A minor detail at best!"

The bartender placed two large, colorful drinks in front of them, each bedecked with small umbrellas and large straws. Rei thanked and paid him, and she led Akane down the bar to sit and watch the dancing. Akane looked dubiously at her drink and asked, "What exactly will this accomplish?" Rei winked and explained, "A little something to sooth the nerves and get you ready to dance." Akane looked at the drink suspiciously, then took a minute sip. She beamed. "It’s good!" She exclaimed, "Sort of like fruit juice!" Rei laughed and said, "It is fruit juice! Fruit juice and a couple of…preservatives, that is." Akane thought this over, then nodded and began drinking with relish. Rei smiled over the rim of her cup and sipped at her drink as well.

A little while and one drink apiece later, Rei dragged a mildly protesting Akane on to the dance floor. "But I don’t dance!" Akane exclaimed. Rei grinned and tugged at her hands. "You will in a minute!" She shot back.

Akane was pleasantly surprised that she was actually quite good at dancing. With the balance and sense of rhythm years of training at the Art had given her, along with a little egging on from Rei, Akane discovered a natural propensity for dance. After learning the basics of moving to the music, Rei began teaching her a few more…interesting moves. After a few more minutes of protesting, Akane found that she rather enjoyed dancing with Rei, and not just for the appreciative looks she was getting from a number of men, but because Rei could do all sorts of interesting things in her sleek dress. Whenever Akane’s mind started paying special attention to the way Rei’s sleek body moved and writhed under her dress, she slapped her wayward brain into submission and tried to get back to dancing.

Finally, after an unknown number of songs, Rei and Akane went back to their seats at the bar, laughing and breathless. Rei asked for two glasses of water while Akane shimmied on her stool to the music. Rei glanced at her and couldn’t help but laugh. Akane looked over at her and wrinkled her brow. "What’s so funny?"

Rei shook her head and smiled. "I think it’s time for the next part of your training." Akane blinked. "What’s that?" Rei answered, "How to get attractive people to come up to you and beg for the right to dance with you. Observe."

For the next ten minutes, Akane and Rei practiced this finely tuned art. Akane wasn’t particularly thrilled to have to try and attract slobbering guys, but she did it anyway, to please Rei. However, after the first few minutes, Akane noticed something. Even though they were universally turned down, a large number of men had already come up to Rei to ask her to dance, or in a few cases go to a hotel with them. But not one person had attempted to come up to Akane. This soured her already slightly unfavorable view of the whole exercise all the more. So it was that Rei found her when she came over to check up on her friend and protégé. "So, how’s it going?" At this innocent question, Akane exploded, "Not one person ahs hit on me yet! What, am I invisible or something?" Rei chuckled and replied, "With that scowl you’re wearing, it would take one hell of a brave man to approach you."

Akane flushed slightly, but bit down on a retort. Rei sat down next to her and said, "Look. It’s all in your expression, and the way you sit. You have to tell them that you want them to come over and talk to you without actually saying that. They have to come to you." Akane nodded, but it was clear to Rei that she wasn’t getting it. She smiled and went on. "Try this. You have to sort of scan the room constantly, like your looking for someone, but you don’t see them. Every so often, sort of make a really quick eye contact with any nice looking guy you want to come over, but don’t get into a staring contest. Just sort of let your eyes glide over his. And the smile is really important. Try this." Rei gave Akane a sort of dreamy half-smile, like she was thinking of something funny that she wasn’t quite ready to share. Akane nodded and tried it. Rei clapped her hands. "That’s great! Now, nod just a little to the music, to show that you’re in the mood to dance, like you want to get up and dance, but you don’t want to do it alone. Try it out."

Rei leaned back against the bar and watched Akane practice her alluring expression. As Akane did as Rei had directed, the ninja cook watched her friend from outside of her line of vision. She felt her heart lurch a little every so often as she watched Akane sway slightly to the music. She’s so beautiful tonight…Thought Rei. She wasn’t sure if it was the lights glowing off Akane’s dress and hair, or the drink she had had earlier, but Rei was feeling especially in love tonight. She had a strong desire to kiss Akane for some reason. Of course, she also had a strong desire to live, so she held back on the former desire. It was in this state that her thoughts were when Akane got approached.

A young man in perhaps his early twenties came up to Akane and raked a hand through his longish hair. "Um, h-hi." He said rather nervously. Akane turned a brilliant, if panicked smile on him. "Hi!" She said brightly. The man smiled in response and asked haltingly, "Um, w-would you like to dance with me?" Akane continued grinning at him. Out of the corner of her clenched teeth she asked Rei, "Now what?" Rei got a wicked idea. She smiled and whispered, "Let me handle this." She slid over on her barstool and put her arm around Akane in a very intimate-looking embrace. With a slow smile, she rested her chin on Akane’s shoulder and looked at the man curiously. "Sweety, who is this man?" She asked. The man shifted uncomfortably as realization dawned. He stammered, "Oh…I…I see. Um, s-sorry…" This said, he walked away rather quickly.

When he was gone, Akane and Rei exploded with laughter. They collapsed into each other’s arms as Akane giggled, "That was great! Did you see his expression?" Rei chuckled and said, "Oh, yes. Can you imagine Ranma making that face when you use it on him?" Akane paused, thought about this, then made a decision that would change her life forever and said, "It’s not him I want to see act like that." Rei blinked. "Then who?" She asked. Akane was silent for some time. Finally, she looked up and said, "You." Rei froze. "Why would you want that?" She asked carefully. Akane smiled at her rather tightly, as if she was trying to hide some other emotion behind her face. "Maybe it’s the drink, or something like that, but I think…" Rei leaned forward to hear her. Akane went on in a rush, "I think I want you to kiss me."

For Rei, the music stopped and the world went quiet. She stared at Akane. She tried to think of something to say in response. She failed. She tried again, and failed again. Finally, on the third try, she came up with a marvelously witty and intelligent rejoinder. But, at the last moment, she abandoned the whole stupid response idea and pulled Akane to her in a kiss that even impressed her.

Akane was reasonably sure the world was going to end when she said that. She internally winced and waited for the Earth to swallow her, but nothing happened. Instead, Rei just sat there and stared. After a rather agonizing minute of this, the ninja chef opened her mouth, then snapped it shut again. She repeated this again a moment later. To Akane, she looked remarkably like a goldfish when she did that. When Rei opened her mouth a third time, Akane prepared to tell her it was all a joke. She was, in fact, right on the verge of doing so when Rei kissed her rather passionately. Akane’s mind performed a long and complicated acrobatics routine as she and Rei kissed. And kissed. And kissed. They most likely would have continued to do so for hours, like in that stupid gaijin gum commercial Akane had seen once, but eventually they decided that it might be necessary to breathe soon. So, they broke the kiss, however regretfully. Akane’s brain was still doing flips and rolls. She considered babbling like a moron, then threw this idea out in favor of kissing Rei again. She did so.

Once they had finished this second longer, and decidedly more involved kiss, they broke off and stared at each other. Silence reigned. Finally, both girls said at the exact same time, "I think…" They both paused and laughed rather shakily. Rei nodded to Akane, but Akane shook her head and said, "No. You first." Rei paused, then said, "I think…" She paused again, then finished, "I think we should go dance again." Akane smiled and nodded. "Good idea. And after that, I want another one of those drinks." Rei laughed and took Akane’s arm in hers. This agreed upon, they went out onto the dance floor and proceeded to make a number of men feel very, very funny, not to mention making the men’s dates rather upset as well.

*****

After his rather depressing morning, Ryouga’s day had preceded to get worse and worse. After getting lost right outside his room, mere feet from the door, he had wandered around the neighborhood for several hours. It had culminated in his current location, when he found himself walking in tight circles inside a cramped stall in some form of public restroom. He looked around, blinked, then cautiously opened the door. As soon as he went out, a man in a line outside the stall dashed in and slammed the door. Ryouga, bemused beyond mere words, stared at the people, as well as made note of the rather loud dance music coming from the other side of the door people were coming in from to go to the bathroom. He pushed the door open and stepped into the space outside.

Ryouga was reasonably sure that he was in some sort of dance club. Not being too big on dancing, Ryouga hadn’t been in a dance club in some time. The last time he had been inside such a place was while he was lost in America. A man had convinced him that some dance called "the Macarena" was a sure-fire way to get girls. He had made the mistake of learning it, for Akane’s sake. Damn that benighted fool and damn his stupid Macarena! After the fiasco when he tried it out in a club somewhere in China, he swore never to go into another such club for as long as he lived.

Now, Ryouga weaved through the masses of gyrating bodies, desperately looking for a solid reference point. As luck would have it, an overly excited dancer bumped into Ryouga and pushed him against what he discovered was the bar. He gripped the hardwood surface appreciatively. I can follow this to the exit. He thought happily. He was doing rather well when he saw Akane, resplendent in black with a white flower in her hair.

Ryouga stumbled slightly when he spied Akane about sixty feet down the bar from him. What is she doing here?! He thought wildly. He called her name, but the noise was too great for her to hear. He could see she was talking to someone and laughing joyously. The very sight of her made his heart swell. Smiling beatifically, Ryouga began making his way towards her, being careful to keep one hand on the bar. To do this, he clothes-lined a number of bar patrons, but one look at the dreamily smiling boy with the fangs, and the offended people decided not to press the issue.

He was about thirty feet away when he saw her turn serious and say something to the person she was talking to. Who is she here with? Surely not Ranma! Ryouga continued to move closer. He was twenty feet away when his world collapsed.

Akane leaned forward and kissed the person she was talking to very passionately. Ryouga froze in place, as his skin felt alternately hot, then cold, then hot again. The kiss finally broke. A moment later, Akane leaned forward and kissed the person again, even more passionately than the first time. This time, Ryouga could see who she was kissing. It was the girl in the black Chinese dress he had seen at the hotel earlier. As the kiss went on and on, Ryouga whispered, "No. Oh, no…" He tightened his grip on the bar, and the foot-thick oak shattered like plywood. Ryouga’s heart was lurching back and forth in his chest like a drunkard, and his lungs labored to bring any air into his body. "No…" He whispered again. The kiss finally broke, and Akane looked at the other girl lovingly. Ryouga staggered slightly as the two girls got up and walked arm in arm to the dance floor. Like lovers, his mind whispered at him maliciously. He shook his head slowly as tears began to run down his cheeks. "Please God…no…not this…" Ryouga turned, ignoring angry shouts from the bartenders and patrons alike at his destruction of the bar. Ryouga turned and ran blindly in the opposite direction of the girls and the end of his life as he knew it. He ran, and did not know where he was going. And for the first time ever, the Eternal Lost Boy did not care where he went, so long as it was far away. He bowled aside dancers as he ran away, a wordless cry of pain issuing from him against his will. And with that, he was gone.