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Dinner and Desire
A Ranma Nibunnoichi FanFic by Captain Exposition
Standard Threats and Reminders: No characters from Ranma 1/2 belong to me. I didn’t make ‘em. But Rumiko Takahashi did, and they belong to her or whomever she sold the rights to. So, if you the reader are one of her lawyers, please don’t sue me. I can’t pay you, as I am a student, which means I’m broke. However, the character Rei the ninja is mine, and cannot appear in anything I don’t put her in unless you ask me first. Captain Exposition sez! Also, this story may be reprinted, as long as you credit the author (me), print this warning, and make sure to cut me in on any profits. (Kidding! Kidding!) Obey these commands, or suffer the wrath of the author (me)! In the name of Moonies, I will punish you! ^_^
Chapter 4: The Drunken Mistress
Genma Saotome woke up with the worst hangover of his life. By the kami! He thought, what did I drink? The last thing I remember was having a drink with Tendo, trying to cheer the poor man up… Genma tried to move his head to look around, but it proved to be a mistake. As soon as he tried to move, he felt as if every martial artist he had ever known was standing over him stomping on his head. With a muted groan, he fell back against the pillow. Where am I? He wondered. Before he could contemplate his vaguely familiar surroundings, he heard a low moan from the bed next to him. A figure under the blanket bumped against Genma’s bare arm. He smiled to himself. Genma, you sly old dog. He thought, You must have charmed some lonely girl back to her room and…hehehe. Well, I wonder whom it was who got the big thrill. Just then, he really did wonder who it was. Any number of people he most certainly didn’t want it to be popped to mind, that freakish Azusa girl who had fought Ranma a while back, that shriveled old woman who always threw water on him and the boy, or even (shudder) Cologne. And for that matter, he did have a wife, even if she hadn’t seen him in years…and she wouldn’t be pleased if it happened to be someone she might know.
Fueled by such dreadful thoughts, Genma rolled over and pulled the blanket back to see with whom he shared a bed. It was not who he had expected. With a jaw-cracking yawn, Soun Tendo stretched and said, still half asleep, "Ah, good morning Saotome."
Soun rolled over to reach for his shirt. Halfway there, his brain sparked and started up. A huge sweat drop appeared on the back of his head. Without a word, he rolled back over to stare at Saotome, who was staring blankly back at him, an uncomprehending, or rather an unbelieving expression on his face. Slowly, Soun said, " Saotome? What are you..?"
A pregnant pause followed. Then, as it sometimes will, the events of the night before began to rush back to the two men. Looks of realization, then disbelief, then horror crossed the men’s faces in rapid succession. All color drained from Tendo’s face. Genma make a choked squeaking sound in the back of his throat. Both men looked under the blanket, confirming the fact that they were both naked. This time, the sounds that issued from them were not muted or choked off at all.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGH!" Ranma, Nabiki, Shampoo, Ukyou, and Cologne looked up from their vigil at Kasumi’s bedside at the sound of the twin bellows from down the hall. Ranma and Nabiki looked at one another and said simultaneously, "My Dad must have woken up…your dad too…" Without another word, they leaped to their feet and raced down the hall, followed closely by Ukyou and Cologne. Kasumi just snored and murmured happily in her still slightly pickled sleep.
The scene that greeted the four of them when they reached the bedroom of Soun Tendo was one of chaos. The bed was a shambles, with pillows and blankets hurled against one wall. The scent of sake permeated the room. And in the middle of the room was Soun, dressed in a white robe. He was leaning over a small wooden block with a gleaming tanto in his hands. At their approach, he looked up, tears streaming down his face. "Goodbye my Nabiki," He said, "You’re foolish father has done the memory of your mother a great disservice. I will go now to join her." As Ranma dashed into the room and began to wrestle with the hysterical man for the knife, Nabiki sighed and shook her head despairedly. "Oh Daddy, not again…"
