A Ranma Nibunnoichi FanFic By Captain Exposition

Standard Threats and Reminders: No characters from Ranma 1/2 belong to me. I didn’t make ‘em. But Rumiko Takahashi did, and they belong to her or whoever she sold the rights to. So, if you the reader are one of her lawyers, please don’t sue me. I can’t pay you, as I am a student, which means I’m broke. However, the character Rei the ninja is mine, and cannot appear in anything I don’t put her in unless you ask me first. Captain Exposition sez! Also, this story may be reprinted, as long as you credit the author (me), print this warning, and make sure to cut me in on any profits. (Kidding! Kidding!) Obey these commands, or suffer the wrath of the author (me)! In the name of Moonies, I will punish you! ^_^

Within five minutes of her successful meeting with Ranma, Rei was speeding along the rooftops of Nerima towards her next to last stop before she took Akane on the training trip of her life . As she ran , she remembered the expression on Saotome’s face as the rice bomb went off in his hand and laughed quietly . God , but that had almost been worth the ten-year wait . Well , the plan she had in mind for Akane would clinch it . Her laughter grew in volume as she neared the roof of the Nekohanten .

Cologne sat before her small television watching a rerun of her favorite Japanese soap opera , fanning herself lightly to stave off the warm summer air . She momentarily glanced up at the sound of crazed laughter coming from outside , but swiftly ignored the sound , reminding herself of the fact that crazed laughter , explosions , and other sounds normally associated with cataclysms were a fixture of daily life in this neighborhood . For the Nth time, she idly wondered if perhaps all involved would have been happier if Shampoo had had the sense to find herself a husband that lived somewhere a little more normal, say in the mouth of a volcano, or on that charming planet Shoggoth. But she quickly squelched any such thoughts . Ranma Saotome was Shampoo’s groom-to-be , a fine warrior , and he would find out how sensible a choice Shampoo was soon enough . No choice in the matter at all , really …

Her ruminations were cut short by a nearly soundless thump from the kitchen downstairs . Instantly becoming alert and almost painfully aware of her surroundings , Cologne spread her near-inhumanly-strong aura throughout the Nekohanten . Using a sensory technique passed down through the Amazons for centuries , she quickly recognized a hostile presence in her kitchen , although not a familiar one . This could bear some investigation…

Rei rummaged through the various cupboards in the dark kitchen , seeking one particular spice that these cooks , if indeed they were truly what they seemed to be , would have to have . Alone , it had no negative effects when consumed , serving as a delicious additive to almost any soup or broth . But when directly mixed with alcohol and drunk , then it became a lethal poison . This spice she would mix with the first alcoholic beverage Genma Saotome would come across if he sought one . While she was satisfied with seeing Ranma grovel , a decision partly influenced by Akane’s obvious love for the oaf , she had long ago decided that anything other than death was too good for Genma . Though Ranma was the instrument of her downfall , Genma had been the mastermind . He would pay , and pay dearly . The possibility that someone other than Genma would drink the alcohol never crossed her mind .

Finding the spice she sought , Rei turned to leave . As she did, she saw something propped up on the counter she had not noticed before. Coming closer, she eyed the huge staring eyes, long white hair, and shriveled skin of the little creature sitting motionlessly on the counter, as well as the long green silk robe it wore. Walking up to it , she fingered the hem of the rub with a puzzled expression and muttered to herself in a quiet voice ,