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The Inevitable Surds

Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. "Oye, I am only following the instructions yaar," he says, " it says here, 'Answer the following questions in BRIEF'."

Two dogs, Rubi and Moti, and a Sardarji were sent to the outer space. The ground control issues command "Rubi ! "Woof" ( its the barking sound ) "Press the red button." "Woof! Woof!" "Moti !" "Woof!" Press the white button." "Woof! Woof!" "Sardarji!" "Woof." "Stop barking, feed the dogs and don't touch anything!"

There were three guys, a surd, an Italian, and a Jewish guy. They all worked together at a factory. Everyday they notice that their boss leaves work a little early. So one day they meet together and say that today when the boss leaves, they'll all leave early too. The boss left and so did they. The Jewish guy ges home and goes to rest so he can get an early start. The Italian guy goes home and cooks dinner. Our Banta goes home and walks to his bedroom.... He opens the door slowly and sees his wife in bed with his boss..! He shuts the door and leaves. The next day the Italian and Jewish guys are talking and plan to go home early again. They asked Banta if he wants to leave early again and he say,"no." They ask him why not and he said, "because yesterday I almost got caught!"

When the Jewish man arrived for his interview, the chief asked him, "Who killed Jesus Christ" ? The Jewish man answered without hesitation "The Romans killed him." The chief thanked him and he left. When the Italian man arrived for his interview, the chief asked the same question. He replied "Jesus was killed by the Jews." Again, the chief thanked the man who then left. Finally the Sardarji arrived for his interview, he was asked the same question. He thought for a long time, before saying, "Could I have some time to think about it?" The chief said, "OK, but get back to me tomorrow." When the Sardarji arrived home, his wife asked "How did the interview go?". Came the reply, "Great, I got the job, and I'm already investigating a murder".

Once a doctor told a Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he would loose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem. "What's the problem ?" asked the doctor.The surd replies "I'm 2400 kms from home."

Our Sardarji was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc. Then he came to the column Salary Expected : He was not sure as to what to be filled there. After much thought he wrote : YES.

Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh walked toward each other on a country road. Hari Singh carried a burlap bag over his shoulder."Hey Bhai," Gani Singh drawled, "what's in the bag ?". "Chickens," was the reply. "If I guess how many, can I have one ?". "You can have both of them". "OK, Five?"

Once Banta Singh goes to a Doctor : Banta: Doctor, I've pain in my ass Doctor wears a glove and put one finger inside his ass and asked "HERE" Banta : No, Slightly above it. Doctor put his whole palm inside him, touched somewhere and asked again " HERE" Banta : No, slightly above it. Now Doctor gets irritated and put his full hand inside him and asked "HERE". Banta : No, slightly above it. Now, Doctor on his extremes shouts Idiot Sardar, Tonsil ke dard ko Gaand ka dard Batata hai.( You are calling Tonsil pain as assache).

There are a large group of surd people in a bar and they are having a celebration. Another man walks into the bar and sees the celebration and asks why all the surd people are celebrating. One of the surds says: "We had just solved a 20 piece jigsaw puzzle within six hours." The man says: "I am sorry. I do not see what the big deal is." The surd replies: "On the box it says 'from 3 to 5 years'."

A Sardar was going to Chandigarh from pune by an Air India plane. He was alloted the middle seat of one of the 3-seats array. But as soon as the sardarji got into the plane, he sat on the window side seat which was actually for an old lady. After some time the old lady came and requested the sardarji to leave the side seat. But the sardaji said: "I want to see the view from the window and shall not leave". The old lady then complained to the air hostess. The air hostess came and requested the sardarji to leave that seat. But sardarji was adament and did not leave. Then the air hostess went and told the asst capt. He also came and requested, but in vain. Finally the Captain came. He whispered something in the ears of the sardarji, and the sardarji immedietly left the side seat and returned to the middle seat. Astonished, the airhostess and the asst.capt. asked the capt. what he told to the sardarji. Capt. replied : " Nothing. I just told him that only the middle seats will go to Chandigarh. All others will go to Jallandhar."

A surd walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. A coke pops out. The surd looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins. He returns and starts feeding the machine madly and of course the machine keeps popping out drinks. A man walks up behind the surd and watches him doing this for a few minutes before stopping and asking him if someone else could have a go. The surd spins around and shouts: "Can't you see that I am winning."

For more jokes send me a at agarwalpraveen@hotmail.com

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