My heart aches, not only for the loss of my precious nephew, the pain my sister Cindy, her husband Ron, my nieces, Bridgett, Sarah and their Dad, David, are coping with hurts so deeply. Yet I cannot fix it...

I recall Big Nathan as an infant. I fell in love with him the first time I saw him. I loved to kiss on his sweet little face so much so that his Dad would holler "Cindy get the dishcloth, here comes Aunt Kathy." Nathan was born with a full head of dark hair, and as most babies do, he lost this newborn hair. The only hair left on his head was one long strand that his Mother would wash and put the latest baby products on. Cindy would then wrap this little strand of hair around his head, much like a narcissistic balding man would do. Hence, he was a funny looking little guy! We did not know then, that was his baby dreadlock!

I recall Bridgett having taken on the roll of mother nature and she was very serious about this. Bridgett was a precious little girl who was a wonderful roll model for Nathan and Sarah. Always hyper' vigilant in protecting them.

When Sarah Joy came along, Nathan, alas, had a younger sibling to protect. Sarah was so cute and creative. Sometimes she would use her creative ability to be a typical little sister and try to get a rise out of Nathan. I never saw him really mad at Sarah, just a bit exasperated. I can still see him looking at Sarah and saying "s-t-t-top it sura." His little eyes would almost cross, he was so intense. Of course the devil was dancing Sarah's eyes! Just another precious moment...

We had two Nathan's in our family, because Cindy's Nathan was born first we called him "Big Nathan." Then Pam's Nathan came along so we called him "little Nathan," because he was our second Nathan. How this double name happened I am not sure about. ( Pam claims she told Cindy that her first born son would be named Nathan). At any rate, we all found a solution to distinguish the two.

Big Nathan was sweet, talented, articulate, patient, kind, and loving. I have no doubt that had he lived, he would someday be a Physician. That was his long term goal. The short term goal was of course to take a stand for the Redwood Forest. In doing so he would learn about life and nature that he loved so well. Nathan was, and still is, a free spirit.

In the words of Chris Martin, Nathan's life long best friend, spoken at his funeral service; "keep on keeping on." You will always live in my heart.