~ Advice To New Submissives ~

Being around D/s channels on IRC, i saw lots of new subs; and some of them are obviously so lost and confused; that i felt like i would offer what advice i could from the time that i have been around IRC. Its easy to make mistakes, i've made plenty myself, but hopefully i can share a bit of what i have learned.

D/s can be very confusing and intimidating at first; but if you take the time to get to know the people involved, and learn about it, you will see the beauty in it. Yes, there are a lot of people who aren't what they claim, and you can't be on IRC for any amount of time without running into a lot of posers and fakes; but i have also made some wonderful friends through IRC, and of course, that is how i met my Master.

One of the most common mistakes that i see in my channel, and others, is a new submissive will enter a channel, and right off the bat, proclaim "i am a slave looking for a master." First of all, that broadcasts to everyone how new and inexperienced you are; it does NOT make a favorable first impression, and will definitely attract all the *wrong* kind of attention!

The best way to get around on IRC, and meet the kind of people that you want to meet, is to find a channel that seems friendly to you, and just hang around there, watch the others in the channel interact for awhile. In my home channel, and in many others, a new sub can add a "\" to the front of their nick to indicate that they are there simply to observe and learn. That is by far the best way to learn about the world of D/s on IRC. If you are bothered by private messages, just /msg a channel op (a person with @ in front of their nick) and they will be glad to help you out. Until you get to know someone, its better to avoid talking privately with people, simply state that you prefer to speak in open channel until you know someone better.

Don't be surprised if someone messages you with something like "on your knees!" right out of the blue. Just IGNORE them totally; its just a clueless person, and if they keep bothering you, again, just bring it to the attention of a channel operator. If you see some kind of interaction that you don't understand, privately ask a channel operator. If its the right kind of channel, they will be more than glad to explain and to help you to understand. Don't ever interrupt a "scene" in a channel, if you feel a sub is being abused or treated in a way that you don't think is right; remember that the people involved are both consenting. You can learn a lot by watching scenes in the channels.

Once you feel ready to participate, start talking to people, be careful how much personal information you give out. A lot of people will want to have a pic, phone number, etc., right away. Never give out anything personal until you have gotten to know a person very well, over a period of time. If you decide that you want to "scene" or play, either in the channel or privately, be sure that it is with someone that you feel you know, and feel comfortable with, and agree upon safewords and limits before you begin. If the action starts to be too much for you, by all means use your safeword. If it is a knowledgeable Dom, they will understand completely, and will immediately stop to talk things out, find out what went wrong. If the Dom will not stop, again, thats what channel operators are there for, to help out.

D/s on IRC is scary, exciting, intimidating, and beautiful. By all means explore it, you will learn alot about yourself as well as about others. i would love for you to chat with me, under Master's new name for me, {SE}xangel.